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anirenadzira
20 February 2013 @ 08:49 pm
i've got nowhere to go – metaphorically, not literally~
(may as well though)

i always seem to find myself here when i'm at my worst
i feel like i've been ignoring this for much too long
but after the best only the worst can follow which (which begins the story of my woe)

i wish i could save myself from drowning in my own self pity
(but then i wouldn't have anything left to say)
 
 
Current Location: @school
Current Mood: lonelylonely
Current Music: roger rabbit - sleeping with sirens
 
 
anirenadzira
06 November 2011 @ 11:53 am
i really wish it wasn't like this. how did we even get here? did you get bored with me, honestly? what's worst is the fact that i want so badly to fix things and figure out what went wrong, but i don't have the courage to do so. and you probably couldn't care less. you probably don't even know how badly it effected me, but then again would you even care? so this is everything i want to say, and everything you'll never get to hear.

i know you don't like me but it's 2011– grow the fuck up
you can't go around hating people without a legit reason
and all i want is to put this behind us & get a fresh start
cos honestly? i never got any closure
and while you'll be able to live with that, i can't.
 
 
Current Location: @home
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: fix a heart - demi lovato
 
 
anirenadzira
19 June 2011 @ 10:40 am
 and just when things start to look up
everything falls to pieces
those who i've held closest i don't know
and those i don't know...

well they'd never find out

i just want to start over, again.
somebody get me out of here.

--

i came across this just now. i wrote it exactly one month from today.

words cannot explain how relevant this is right now.
 
 
Current Location: @home
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: skinny love - bon iver
 
 
anirenadzira
08 June 2011 @ 01:39 pm
 
 
 

 
 
 
Current Location: cempaka cheras
Current Mood: cynicalcynical
Current Music: monster - paramore
 
 
anirenadzira
11 December 2010 @ 10:57 pm
why are you everywhere i go? why do i long to be miserable? why aren't you as unhappy as me? why are there so many unanswered questions? i hate what you did to me, but do i loathe you or do i hate myself? is this all this is? an unwinding road of questions you'll never be able to answer. will i ever be able to forgive you? do you want me to forgive you? do you even know what you've done? i don't think so. cause you're too busy wrapped up in your own petty problems to realize what you did to me. maybe it would have been better if we never met. maybe i'd be happier then. maybe i wouldn't feel as bad as i do if i'd just ran away when i had the chance. so darling, let me ask you a question. are you fucking happy now?
 
 
Current Location: @home
Current Mood: cynicalcynical
Current Music: merry christmas, kiss my ass - all time low
 
 
 
anirenadzira
01 December 2010 @ 07:51 pm
a few years back, i do believe paramore had asked us what we were ashamed of. i remember reading it and thinking about how i had nothing to be ashamed of. (how naive and innocent i was back then.) years later who knew i'd be reading the same text over with a whole new perspective.

because the truth is;

i have everything to be ashamed of.
 
 
Current Location: @home
Current Mood: crappycrappy
Current Music: oh star - paramore
 
 
anirenadzira
29 November 2010 @ 09:40 pm
over the years i have managed to teach myself two things.
  • how not to care (ignorance is not bliss)
  • how to act like you don't care
you could say i've become an expert at both
(after all those years of practice)
but i'm a just teenager
(aren't we all just the same?)
 
 
Current Location: @home
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
Current Music: just tonight - the pretty reckless